Gilbert

About a week ago I was diagnosed with a disease that researchers call "seemingly harmless": Gilbert's Syndrome or GS. This term is thrown around so casually but any diagnosis is scary even if the treatment is a bandaid. Gilbert's Syndrome, who the hell is Gilbert and what does he want with me?

"GS is harmless.
You'll never even notice it."

I'm just a product of some disease now. I get to pay the $5 the insurance doesn't cover of lab tests to be poked and prodded every six months just to be told that I still had an elevated bilirubin (byproduct of the liver) and there is nothing they can do about it. Until last week when they put a name on it, still couldn't do anything about it and then told me not to worry.

I was born with Jaundice, GS usually develops from forms of Jaundice. My mom said I was a beautiful tan only slightly yellowed color. I was born yellow, born sick.

Growing up I remember getting sick often. I cried every time I threw up until I was 14, which was a lot. I cried because it hurts to throw up. It hurts to be sick. It hurts to label that sickness into a category with the 5% of the population that has been diagnosed with GS too.

I was sick a lot, some symptoms of GS is fatigue and digestion issues, I've had both for as long as I remember. I still do.

But GS is harmless, right? I won't even notice it...

Have mercy on me, O LORD, for I am weak; O LORD, heal me, for my bones are troubled.
Psalm 6:2