Fullness

I have tried multiple times to write about the ways I have been changed in Asia this summer. I have written and rewritten and deleted letters I have meant to send out to those that helped support me or prayed for my team, yet, still nothing. My cursor still blinks, mocking my wordless mind. I promise they will come and you will hear from me again. He just did so much through us and in us that it's hard to summarize such a big occurrence. Just know that we prayed to see fruit and that's exactly what happened. 

And now, as I am quietly sitting, processing the lessons I've learned and acknowledging the season He is just beginning in my life, I am simply content. I don't want for anything. I have been much more willing to set myself aside to say things that reflect His attitude rather than my own. 

I realize now how small I am in the grand scheme & thankful that He uses me anyway, even when that is the last thing I deserve.

I am full of Faith.

I am full of joy and patience.

I am full of love.

I am full of Him.

I am full & I am brimming with His mercy because I need it, every single day.

& it doesn't matter if I'm anxious or wordless because He gently calms my heart by whispering, 

"just trust me." 

It is sweet, my friends. He is alive and He is sweet.

I hope you are constantly seeking out quiet places to just linger in His creation & hearing what He is whispering into your own heart. 

Back to America

Well, I'm home. I have thought about what I was going to say here for weeks and now as I write it, I have no idea where to start. 

I had the opportunity to fly halfway around the world and share the Gospel in a place that forbids organized religion. I was teamed up with 12 other Aggies that I didn't know well, raised thousands of dollars, and went on a trip that I thought would change people's lives. I learned really quick how much it wasn't about me, how nothing I did was going to make a difference but that the ways I would allow the Lord to work through me would mean everything. Well, I was willing & He worked in amazing ways. Those 12 Aggies quickly became my family, the smoggy skies of East Asia started feeling familiarly comfortable & the hundreds of people we met, friends- some, eternal siblings. It's sweet to my soul to even ponder the things we have endured these past few months. I am so incredibly thankful I can barely find the words.

I am still processing through the many lessons I learned while overseas this summer but I can positively say, without a doubt, I am changed. My understanding of the Gospel has been simplified and sharable. My fears of judgement turned into urgency. My perspective broadened. I don't think I expected my life to undergo such radical transformation in the 6 weeks abroad as it did.

I'm thankful for getting to know the Lord in a different context and for all the ways He is still growing me. I am thankful that He is not an "American God" and that He is evident all over this earth and beyond.

Stay tuned.