As I sit in a waiting period of life I am reminded of a seemingly impossible prayer I had been convicted of and prayerful about a few years ago. I remember how scared I was of rejection, of not getting accepted into this particular opportunity, while simultaneously, trying to fight back joy just thinking forward to potentially getting it.
That time it was applying for A&M. I wasn't guaranteed scholarships or admission, I was promised nothing at all and that's exactly what I heard for weeks-- nothing. I just felt a deep desire to transfer there so, I applied. I can remember playing the what-if I get in vs. what if I don't game in my head through what seemed like a lifetime of waiting. I even bought an A&M window decal and switched it in the company of a close friend. We stopped right after and simply prayed, God, please make this into a reality...but if you don't I'll still trust you, I'll just have to change my car sticker again. But He made it happen. I got in. I remember checking online every single day in anxiousness for news, any news, hopefully good. & eventually, I got it. I was painfully patient and He saw it through. I laugh now and I can barely remember what it felt to wait at all.
He was faithful.
I have not forgotten His faithfulness,
even now
while
I sit again, having turned in all the paperwork, done the interviews, submitted the references, set my heart on one opportunity in-particular but glad for the option of applying to several, just in case.
I have seen doors I figured as a possible future close before my eyes ...but I don't feel hurt. Now I recognize that I had no emotional ties to grad school at this point in time but when I think of ministry, I have joy in hearing back again. I have hope and I can clearly call out the lies of evil that creep in to manipulate certain feelings of fear into my system. I know Truth more intimately than ever before and I have testimony of His faithfulness to me, I am constantly comforted by it.
& I know just like before, this waiting period will be soon forgotten because His faithfulness with flood in again, just like acceptance into A&M, just like always.
And if it doesn't look exactly like I'd hoped it would, I know how this story ends. I know He is victorious and that I am a co-heir with Christ. I know that He is faithful and I have an eternity to look forward to with Him. I know that in the meantime, He will shower blessings upon those who are willing to serve Him. I am willing and hopeful and He will see it through, I'm sure of it.
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Monday, November 11, 2013
Sweet Truth
You know when someone says something sweet that catches you off-guard?
I have the greatest pleasure to work for an A&M affiliated program that allows me to work with over 50 elementary aged students as their "Aggie teacher" after school.
One little girl decided to join our spelling group today as we practiced reading sight words who was not in our usually clan. They were all sitting too close to me, some even on top of my folded feet or leaning against my trapped arms. I constantly tell them to back up a little so I can be mobile again but that is not a popular idea there when I am outnumbered rarely less than 1:10. So, without using arms I attempt to direct these huge personalities in tiny bodies to do something productive instead of argue over who gets to sit next to me, etc.
In the midst of this chaos, the newest girl with her sweet braided pigtails, purple rimmed glasses, crooked smile, kindergarten-tied-scarf, childlike giggle, peeks up at me and whispers, "I really like you. You have a kind heart."
For a moment I think the entire world stopped--not only because I was impressed by her choice of words for the mere age of 5, but also because that could have been the single, most thoughtful thing anyone has said to me, ever.
After lots of sad goodbye's, pleas for me to stay later, and numerous (& welcomed!) hugs, I departed for the day. On the drive home the comment kept replaying in my head. I have always admired the filter-less character of children. They say absolutely anything that they think, whether it is gentle or not. They say it to each other, they say it to strangers, they say it to close friends, and they say it to me.
Just a few weeks ago for drug-free red ribbon week it was pajama day, I jokingly pulled my hair out of it's carelessly tied up bun, waved it around and laughingly asked a few kids if I looked like Sleeping Beauty, to which they shouted, "NO!"....again, no filter.
But now, this.
I end today thankful for truth and urge us, as a society, as people who like to hear positive things--simply, speak truth.
Speak sweet truths aloud. They could make a bigger, more lasting impact than you imagine.
I have the greatest pleasure to work for an A&M affiliated program that allows me to work with over 50 elementary aged students as their "Aggie teacher" after school.
One little girl decided to join our spelling group today as we practiced reading sight words who was not in our usually clan. They were all sitting too close to me, some even on top of my folded feet or leaning against my trapped arms. I constantly tell them to back up a little so I can be mobile again but that is not a popular idea there when I am outnumbered rarely less than 1:10. So, without using arms I attempt to direct these huge personalities in tiny bodies to do something productive instead of argue over who gets to sit next to me, etc.
In the midst of this chaos, the newest girl with her sweet braided pigtails, purple rimmed glasses, crooked smile, kindergarten-tied-scarf, childlike giggle, peeks up at me and whispers, "I really like you. You have a kind heart."
For a moment I think the entire world stopped--not only because I was impressed by her choice of words for the mere age of 5, but also because that could have been the single, most thoughtful thing anyone has said to me, ever.
After lots of sad goodbye's, pleas for me to stay later, and numerous (& welcomed!) hugs, I departed for the day. On the drive home the comment kept replaying in my head. I have always admired the filter-less character of children. They say absolutely anything that they think, whether it is gentle or not. They say it to each other, they say it to strangers, they say it to close friends, and they say it to me.
Just a few weeks ago for drug-free red ribbon week it was pajama day, I jokingly pulled my hair out of it's carelessly tied up bun, waved it around and laughingly asked a few kids if I looked like Sleeping Beauty, to which they shouted, "NO!"....again, no filter.
But now, this.
I end today thankful for truth and urge us, as a society, as people who like to hear positive things--simply, speak truth.
Speak sweet truths aloud. They could make a bigger, more lasting impact than you imagine.
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