Showers of Faithfulness

As I sit in a waiting period of life I am reminded of a seemingly impossible prayer I had been convicted of and prayerful about a few years ago. I remember how scared I was of rejection, of not getting accepted into this particular opportunity, while simultaneously, trying to fight back joy just thinking forward to potentially getting it.

That time it was applying for A&M. I wasn't guaranteed scholarships or admission, I was promised nothing at all and that's exactly what I heard for weeks-- nothing. I just felt a deep desire to transfer there so, I applied. I can remember playing the what-if I get in vs. what if I don't game in my head through what seemed like a lifetime of waiting. I even bought an A&M window decal and switched it in the company of a close friend. We stopped right after and simply prayed, God, please make this into a reality...but if you don't I'll still trust you, I'll just have to change my car sticker again. But He made it happen. I got in. I remember checking online every single day in anxiousness for news, any news, hopefully good. & eventually, I got it. I was painfully patient and He saw it through. I laugh now and I can barely remember what it felt to wait at all.

He was faithful.

I have not forgotten His faithfulness,

even now

while

I sit again, having turned in all the paperwork, done the interviews, submitted the references, set my heart on one opportunity in-particular but glad for the option of applying to several, just in case.

I have seen doors I figured as a possible future close before my eyes ...but I don't feel hurt. Now I recognize that I had no emotional ties to grad school at this point in time but when I think of ministry, I have joy in hearing back again. I have hope and I can clearly call out the lies of evil that creep in to manipulate certain feelings of fear into my system. I know Truth more intimately than ever before and I have testimony of His faithfulness to me, I am constantly comforted by it.

& I know just like before, this waiting period will be soon forgotten because His faithfulness with flood in again, just like acceptance into A&M, just like always.

And if it doesn't look exactly like I'd hoped it would, I know how this story ends. I know He is victorious and that I am a co-heir with Christ. I know that He is faithful and I have an eternity to look forward to with Him. I know that in the meantime, He will shower blessings upon those who are willing to serve Him. I am willing and hopeful and He will see it through, I'm sure of it.