Agape.

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." 

I have been choking on that phrase a lot lately. I find myself wanting to do or say things that are hurtful to others when there is absolutely no reason for it, particularly those that have in some way hurt me in the past. At times, I will catch myself playing the blame game in my head for hours. It usually ends with me seeking out good memories represented in pictures or notes or feelings to make myself feel less guilty, which, in reality, usually just brings a tear or two to my eyes and stirs up the reminder that love wasn't enough and that no matter how many times I rip things apart in my head, asking all the hard questions, it won't come back to me and be what I need it to be no matter how much I (sometimes) wish it would.

But that's not true, is it? GOD'S love is enough. But I'm just a speck of a woman in this world & my desires overwhelm me. My heart's desire for that Heavenly unconditional love is what I seek in men & I am consistently disappointed because they will never fulfill that for me. We were made that way, to desire the things only the Lord can offer because well, He is jealous and desperately desires our attention for Him. Of course He created us to desire what no one else on this earth can give us, it leaves us no other choice but to turn to Him and it's good. But there is also a desire for attention and too many times we forget to live lives that are worthy of that attention from others. If you want the attention of a Godly man, you must be leading a Godly lifestyle yourself. We must let go and learn to agape. 

Agape: a form of love that only gives, does not take or seek, just gives - unconditionally, asking nothing in return.

It all comes down to the fact that I can't change people, I can't make someone different or force them to learn the things I know the Lord wants to teach them. Lord, take my desire to control things away. Strip me down, make me new, give me a head full of positive and loving words.


What if nobody told you anything but positive things about yourself?
How would your perspective of people change?
What if you did the same unto others?
What if you forgot the boundaries of love to agape, to give?

I'm a firm believer that if you treat someone as though they are the most wonderful person in your life, that is exactly what they become.

"The Lord was with Joseph, giving him success in all he did."

Genesis 39 (read it all!)

Imagine if you made it a priority to just let go of the past hurt, surrendered to the life of love that Jesus offered an example for us to follow, & only focused on giving, whatever that may mean. No matter what, even when it's hard -- through the Lord, you will succeed. Agape. 

(I think I'm done with my pity party.)

"Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

Luke 6: 38