Lovely But Lost

I see you. I see as you gracefully stroll through life as though you are fine being independent of all else. I see you make everything look so easy, even when you're hurting or confused. You don't have me fooled because I know you. I know where you are in life because I've been there too. I know where you come from. I know what it's like to come from a broken family that instilled so much fear-- fear of marriage, divorce, commitment, rejection, abandonment, loneliness, of absolutely every emotion the world has to offer. I know what it's like to move, to change, to desire running away to start a different life, to not want to ever trust anyone again.

But you have to know this: I love you. I love you without reason or condition. I love you when you're terribly attempting to shut people out, pretending that those who aren't close to you can't hurt you if you are avoiding them. I believe you when you say that you don't believe in God, in any afterlife at all. But...I love you. I cannot make my heart accept or be at peace with your excuses or distance. I cannot sleep at night knowing I will lose you. I am sprinting away from the fact I must acknowledge that you are just that, lost.

You have so much going for you.

You are unfairly beautiful. The kind of beautiful that people take notice of and admire. The kind of beautiful that walks into a room and all eyes fall upon, unable to look away. The kind of beautiful that can manipulate anyone to do anything for. I can't imagine the radiance you'd have if you truly accepted the love of the Lord. I can't imagine you being anymore beautiful than you already are but I pray to see a day that you will be. I pray to see the day that your beauty stops stemming from a foundation of worldy perspectives and starts stemming from the true roots of love and beauty-- the beauty of being cleansed and covered by the blameless blood of Christ, who died for you, paying a debt we have all earned with a punishment that we all deserve. I pray that your beauty will be less about your physical features or your bubbly personality and more about the overflow of goodness because of a God you've decided to put a faith in, your faith in.