Just Wait...

I read a post earlier from a dear friend & wonderful spiritual influence in my life that simply stated:

"Someday, we'll meet. 

But until then, strive daily to be the 

virtuous, 

beautiful, 

loving, 

kind, 

passionate woman 

God made you to be."

-T.D.

This meant that much more coming from a man. What a beautiful reminder it is that we, as women, don't have to strive to be something we are not- but rather, just learn to dwell in the Spirit that comes straight from God.

Don't be concerned about the outward beauty 

of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 

You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty 

that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, 

which is so precious to God. 

This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. 

They trusted God...

(1 Peter 3:3-5)

I have been seriously convicted and overtaken with discomfort as ways I have attempted to get particular male attention has been brought into the light of my focus lately. It is a job to force people to like us. Why do we waste so much energy doing this? What is keeping me from trusting God? His plan? His timing? His will for my life? I pondered this, coming up with no good reason. But I'm tired & I can't do it anymore.
I don't want anyone I will have to try to impress.
I want someone who will want me.
I want someone who is trusting & following the Lord, just as I so we may only flourish together toward that same goal.
I want someone who will love me the same at my weakest, most vulnerable, broken moment than at my very best.
I am willing to wait.
I don't want whatever temporary gladness I may get by getting ahead to find things myself.
I want the Lord to be enough for me first & for someone to love me only through Him.
I want this for you too.
What is keeping you from trusting that He will fulfill His promises and cease your burning desires?

Trust in the Lord, and do good;

dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.

Delight yourself in the Lord,

and He will give you the desires of your heart.

(Psalm 37:3-4)

Last night...
We were running a tad late to Breakaway but we didn't care as long as we were sitting in that arena, swaying in fellowship & hearing the message, luckily, only by God's grace did we find seats in the lower section. A student in a wheelchair sat beside me and as worship began, Shane&Shane challenged the men in the room to sing a different portion than the women, creating this indescribable, pure, beautiful, flawless sound. In that moment I loved this guy next to me, his voice carrying through to my ears, mmm. I didn't love HIM him but I loved the divine strength & courage that radiated from him that had no justification other than faith, alone. It was so beautiful, my heart was encouraged & I sang loud not for the competition but to let our voices harmonize together up to the God that gave us the instruments to live in harmoneous love just as our voices did in that particular moment.

It was such a simple, vulnerable, real moment, yet, I was drawn to him. It was the dropped guard or perhaps the way he introduced himself to those around him as if he were ...normal before Ben began speaking.

But that's the thing...he wasn't "normal" and it had absolutely nothing to do with the chair he was confined to. You aren't normal. We are extraordinary in an ordinary world, we concentrate so hard on trying to squeeze into the ideals society teaches us is beautiful or worthy or desired but we are called to rise above that and realize that His ways are better.

Be patient, child. You ARE beautiful, so very beautiful and you will only be made more so with a joy, radiance, & peace that comes from above.

Now, girls--
wait on the men, wait on your desires to be answered & trust that they will, wait on the Lord. But until then, strive daily to be the 
virtuous, 

beautiful, 

loving, 

kind, 

passionate woman 

God made you to be.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful, 

I know that full well.

(Psalm 139:14)