Vision

Lord, my plans seem so small in comparison to the glimpse of what you have in store. Your goodness & faithfulness astounds me. 

After a summer serving as a River's Edge Counselor at Camp Eagle in 2010, I felt like I had a firm grasp on my faith & God had given me a foundation to continue to build upon through relationships attained and lessons endured. 

Camp taught me what it meant to be bold in your faith, even when it was hard. I learned that Christian men were imperfect & found the beauty in accepting their wonderfully flawed ways. I made more than connections or community, I gained a family of support. I also learned that letting go wasn't always easy but it was necessary sometimes. Letting go of a 'maybe' to get a glimpse of a 'definitely' was worth every price. To see God answering prayerful desires after that summer, providing evidence to His 'yes' in my life was a sweet, sweet reminder that we have desires for a purpose and that He follows through with them. 

God saw my desire to transfer to Texas A&M through.

Now He is putting into action desires I thought were lost in the future right now.

So, I am going on a mission trip. 

Literally, one day I was sitting in an area of campus I rarely roam, alone, reading The Hunger Games, waiting for a friend to leave for lunch when I am randomly approached by two young women asking for my prayer requests. Somehow our conversation turns to our hearts for missions and I find out that one of these lovely ladies is leading a trip this summer and immediately my adrenaline starts pumping. We exchange numbers, planning to meet for coffee to talk about details of this trip, instead of waiting, I hop online, find the application, and take the next week or so to prayerfully & search the depths of my soul & those close to me for answers. Somehow I get it in on the last day before deadline. 

God has impeccable timing, doesn't He? 

I meet my new friend for coffee where we mostly just share our testimonies and fears in life/potential trips, then we pray. 

I get a call for an interview a few days later. 

Now, I get anxious for interviews, like, so anxious I make myself feel sick.

I felt sick walking into the unfamiliar building. I sat in the lobby praying that God doesn't allow my fear to burden me, that if it was His will He would calm me down and speak through me. I follow two facilitators to a back room where I immediately feel at peace. I answer the questions almost without thinking at all, truth flowed so quickly and effortlessly out of me, I barely recall what was said. I know we laughed and left feeling as though a reunion with a few old friends had just taken place. I felt completely positive I would be traveling on a team this summer and I didn't even care where.

In the midst of interviews and wishful thinking, I am reading the book Radical written by David Pratt, leading me to be praying that the Lord begins to open my heart to do radical things in His name. 

I get a call almost exactly five days later that the interview facilitators loved me and that I would have my choice between two destinations, I chose and then had to restrain myself from physically exploding with joy. 

^All of that was in a span of about two weeks. Tell me that wasn't God's provision in my life?

Now as I prepare to write hundreds of letters asking for ministry partnership/prayer warriors for upcoming events in life, I am overtaken with a vision of God's plan I have never had before this moment.

I am sure that my plans are much smaller than His grand scheme of things & I am perfectly fine with waiting & depending on Him in the meantime. 

The vision on my heart shouts boldly of Christ's love for us, 

it reeks of devotion to seeking His Truth, 

it commands lovingly proclaiming His kingdom, 

making known His name, 

reaching His people. 

Forget my prior engagements, Lord, I want to chase you more now than ever before. I will share in your vision & you will see me through, even when it is beyond my understanding, God, 

I know you've got this.