It is Good

The truth is that I don't know how to make sense of what I want to say right now. I have been brainstorming it in the small yellow lined 'note' on my iphone and now I have it staring chaotically back at me hoping I can fit it all together in a sensible way.

I have narrowed life down to a few things: Foundation of faith, honesty, integrity, forgiveness, the ability to love yourself for exactly who you are, & to humbly grant people chances. I've come up with these mostly from experience, having everything to do with being happy.


If you can learn to lead a life that is based on a foundation of Faith- blind faith, even when everything else seems wrong in the world, trusting it will turn out right, trusting this life is out of your control: Faith. Faith that God works all things for His good. Faith that at the end of the day, when all is said and done, you're comforted because you aren't alone, ever. You are comforted by your Faith and the Father it comes from. Honesty, integrity and forgiveness are just stepping stones to make things easier in life, less weighted. Carrying a heavy burden is never as easy as walking freely. When you are tangled in lies, convicted by dirty secrets, or holding grudges, you are only hurting yourself. You become a victim of the things you do. You have control of your actions. Hold yourself up to higher standard and do things right. You aren't perfect but the imperfections are what make you uniquely different from anyone else on this Earth, special in your own light, beautifully crafted- so is everybody else, so give people chances. We fail more times than not. But it all works out. It is good.

While I trust the things I have just shared with you, I have struggles as well.
Sometimes I'm afraid and there's no room for anything else.


Lately I have been much talk and not much of anything else. I went on a schpeel about marriage & desires of getting engaged sooner than later- I've shared bits of it among these viral pages but when I actually take a step back to think... I'm not ready. If someone asked me today to be their wife I would be so afraid. I don't have anything figured out yet, I don't know exactly where I want to be in 10 years, I don't know where I want to be heading now. I don't know what career I'll end up in or what my minor will be. There are plenty of things I don't know. I don't even know what to tell people anymore when they ask me about my future. I'm even afraid to say I'm not sure in response, in fear of sounding like a deadbeat. I don't want to get engaged or married or be having kids I can't support right now. When I see friends my age or younger making these big lifelong decisions I never envy them, I quietly think how glad I am not to be in that position. I'm NOT ready.

I'm afraid of graduating. I'm afraid of what my life will look like outside of school. I've been in learning environments my whole life, & still, there really is no way of being prepared for what the 'real world' will throw at you. Where do you start? I feel like I'm going through the motions, same as high school, going to class day to day, exam to exam, just to pass, not really gaining anything useful from them. I feel in no way more prepared for a career than I did the day I walked out of high school or onto a college campus. How can we graduate to do big things when we are stuck in such small frames of mind here? Where do I begin in stepping out of the student mold, into being fierce and bold in the working world? Where does making a big difference to be remembered by here on Earth start?


So many times I look at happiness as a destination, a place I'd like to be: married, settled down, financially stable, babies, family vacations, my own house to make a home, people that make glorifying the Lord easier with them than without them. Happiness is not a destination though, it's a mood. A moment of peace based on the foundation of Faith, honesty, integrity, forgiveness, loving myself exactly as I am & giving people chances, giving myself a chance. & trusting that it will be good. I don't have it figured out but I don't have to, it's under control, I'm not alone & it's good.

The Lord is good to all;

He has compassion on all He has made.

All your works praise you, Lord;

you faithful people extol you.

They tell of the glory of your Kingdom

and speak of your might,

so that all people may know of your mighty acts 

and the glorious splendor of your Kingdom...

The Lord is trustworthy in all He promises

and faithful in all He does.

The Lord upholds all who fall

and lifts up all who are bowed down.

The eyes of all look to you, 

and you give them their food at the proper time.

You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.

Psalm 145: 9-16