The more I try to analyze various areas in my life, the more I am pointed toward the exact same conclusions.
No, it's not mutual. No, it won't work out being a one way street. No, potential is not enough, now is it.
Yes, there are more important things to be stealing my attention.
Life has no guarantees & I don't want to be so focused on one small portion of it that I miss the rest.
I feel very joyful and very discontent all at once & it is becoming a really draining struggle.
I feel like everything I have been working so diligently toward is not as rewarding as I initially expected & that's really scary to admit. I've been running & not making any progress, it seems.
I want so badly to hold things loosely but I haven't. I have been clinging to guys that won't commit, allowing people to believe they are in control of my contentment, yearning for temporary things in general. I don't want any of it anymore.
I hope tomorrow I can wake up with bigger dreams that go far beyond the confines of this small college town, bigger than any degree, bigger than a fairytale that gives no glimpse past matrimony. I want something eternal, someone Holy & Everlasting. Give me Jesus and strip me of absolutely everything else.
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