Low

My dreams are coming true, dreams I didn't even know that I had but I'm missing it. There's no time to slow down, I just need one minute to stop and take a deep breath and then start again.

Today was the worst day. This week was the worst week. I have been studying and trying to study and not studying, keeping my mind busy. I have had multiple finals and no time for anything between studying, testing, playing mommy for two furry babies and work. It's crazy, this balancing act of mine.

First, I turn down the opportunity to have a summer that tops the best and most impactful summer of my life at Camp Eagle, a very near and dear Christian adventure camp I have had the honor of serving at and would have again if it weren't for my need to catch up in school due to transferring to the wonderfully lonely Texas A&M University. Now I sit halfway through college still wondering what I want to do with my life and dreading the next two years of getting there. I feel like all my hard work is being washed down the drain.

Now, after turning down another job opportunity that paid a lot more than I was expecting to make this summer, financial aid is stripping me of all government grants and extending "parent loans" that nobody is in a position to take.

So, I have to improvise. Lord, will I always wind up exactly where I belong despite myself and all of these setbacks?