There was a point in time when I began getting restless and wished word would arise that I could be relieved for the day. I realized quickly as that thought had enough time to fade away that I'd have to surrender my own needs to care for the helpless needs of this little one. Occasionally, when I refused to let Reagan rip out and chew on each pop-out in the various pop-up books that I resorted to after hours passed, she would whine. The poor baby was teething, I myself resembled the winced face as my wisdom teeth were appearing these past few weeks. She denied the binky, apparently she has never been one to quietly suck on something that was actually made to ease or distract from the pain of growing teeth.
Have I mentioned that Reagan is also nearing the age of independence? She is in the wobbly stage between being a lugged around vegetable and the stage of stomp by stomp hoping not to trip and bang head on coffee table. It's a slightly frightening stage that requires every second of your attention. I held her under each of her little baby-chub arms and scooted around to try and allow her to practice walking. It was a challenge to maneuver her around the two dogs: one, a great dane, who is a obstacle without even trying and the second a medium sized fluff ball named Lucy that is overwhelmingly jealous of all the attention Reagan is receiving that she sits up on her two hind feet to try and steal the spotlight. It was funny to have someone to entertain me rather than vice versa but I was also obligated to show some affection and excitement for such an extraordinary trick. Lucy held this pose for over 3 minutes! It was amazing!
I also experienced the process of feeding Reagan today. The first step was to strip her of all clothes except diaper and bib to try to pry a baby spoon into her barely opened mouth at a fast enough pace that keeps her from getting fussy. I'm not gonna lie, I don't care how little I scraped onto that spoon, this girl was covered in prunes!
Several times throughout the day I realized what an idiot I sounded like talking in this voice people only use toward children. I was saying things like, "Don't eat your book, silly willy." And once, when Katy, Reagan's momma attempted to sneak through the room being unnoticed yet failing misrably, Reagan mumbles "mmmommma" as I thought silently to myself Oh Lord, please don't let that be the first time she talked feeling guilty of stealing such a precious moment.
Overall, this was a productive day and I am thankful that this cute little Gerber baby accepts me. I was happy to learn that babies start to remember people when they are around 9 months old and she is nearing the age. I hope we can share fun memories and that I can have an impact (even if small) on this lovely family.
I must also admit that today was a learning experience, one I'm sure will continue to be such. I began to see the the beauty in a dependence and in the rebellion to have independence, it's a great example of the stages in life. Reagan is a baby, she must depend on me or a caregiver to provide her with the essentials. She must depend on us to look out for her well being and best intention. We must praise her when she does good yet, also attend to mischief.
Much like God shows patience and mercy and understanding and love to each of His people, I must learn to show the same to Reagan, this sweet helpless, learning child. I must set a good example so that she may be molded into a product of something striving toward God's way rather than rebelling against it.
In some instances dependence wins over independence. I hope I can be a exemplary leader toward being independent from the choices of others yet, dependent upon the Lord and the goodness of His guidelines for our lives. Maybe this will be a lesson we strive to learn together.
Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.
Mark 14:38
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
John 16:33
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