I'll Tell Them

One day I'll pull out the pictures I never deleted to point at the smile you taught me to keep company through even the toughest times.

I'll reminisce over the memories we shared,
the love we learned,
the heartache we endured
together & apart.

I'll point you out when the kids ask about this time in my life
because you are worth every word I'll speak of you.

These lessons are worth sharing because they have hurt me and mended me forevermore.
They explain my scars.

I'll tell them not to be afraid of risking everything for love because even when it disappoints you, it leaves you with treasures you had been ignorant to before.

I'll tell them to speak kindly to those that treat them well,
those that open their doors,
those who tell them how they light up the room when they smile.

I won't tell them the sweet nothings you told me, though.
I'll save some keepsakes for myself.

I'll say that you never stop loving someone,
your love just evolves.

I'll warn them against putting caps on how good something can get with another because of fear.
I'll tell them fear doesn't define our lives, we are not captives to it.

I'll tell them to keep the old love letters, even when all is said or done.
To reread them and remind themselves that their scars are real,
their happiness is genuine,
not to be afraid of the lives they've lived before,
not to be weary of acknowledging it was real.

I'll tell them to be silly,
to be themselves and to allow others to do the same.

I'll tell them to make friends with the people that sit around them in school,
they become your best of stories,
your best of friends.

I'll tell them to cry when they are hurting,
angry,
or
helpless,
that it's okay to feel these things.
But to laugh more than they cry.

I'll tell them that they cannot move forward while looking back.

I'll also tell them that when I became the most important priority to you, above even God, Himself, I prayed like hell that it would be taken away from us
...even though that was the furthest thing from what I truly wanted.
I'll make them promise to always put God first.

I'll tell them to be prayerful too
for what is RIGHT and commendable,
not just for ourselves.

I'll tell them to go away for the summer, even when it means flying across the globe to a foreign land away from everyone you love, everything that is comfortable to do something that sounds crazy.

I'll tell them to go
every
single
time.

I'll remember you, all that we shared, it haunts me but I willingly allow it to.
I will & I do cherish it, while still it stings with pain, delight, passion, regret, & so much tender sweetness.

I'll tell them you were one of the greatest lessons I've ever known. A lesson I had to learn over and over and over again and still don't always understand, that we need those in life because they keep us moving, never stagnant. I'll tell them about you and I hope that by the time these stories make their way to the surface again, that I'll believe leaving you in the past was the right thing to do-- that you are better as a memory, a tale seemingly fictitious.

I hope I'll have internalized everything I'll tell them when the time finally comes.